Abuja residents differ on marrying former lovers

Some residents in the FCT have reacted differently on the issue of a friend getting married to former lovers.

The residents, who spoke in separate interviews with the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) in Abuja on Thursday, were responding to whether it was morally and socially acceptable for a friend to marry his or her friend’s former boyfriend or girlfriend.

Some said it depended on the situation that led to the marriage, adding that being in a romantic relationship with a friend’s ex was something most good friends would try to avoid, while others did not see anything wrong with it.

Miss Damilola Olatunde, a nurse said there was nothing wrong in marrying a friend’s ex.

“You know there is a saying that “one man’s food is another man’s poison’’.

“ I will not reject a suitor on the ground that he once dated my friend.

“He might be God-sent to me and I will love him faithfully. My friend maybe fed up with him or she probably found someone else.

“That does not disqualify the man from approaching me if he finds me lovable.

“But I will definitely tell her about the plans, so it does not look as if I backstabbed her. Moreover, there is no universal law against it,’’ Olatunde said.

Miss Ifeoma Okeleke, a student said that she would marry the man “if it is God’s will’’.

“Yes, I will, if it is God’s will. If God wants us together, I do not see any reason why I cannot, since they have both ended the relationship.

“People may frown at such, but if your motives are right, then you can go ahead.

“Sometimes, people find love in mysterious ways and in strange places.

“There is nothing new in this world as long as there is love, there will be no problem,’’ Okeleke said.

Mr Samson Idoko, a civil servant, however, said he would not attempt it because that would destroy the trust and friendship that exist between them.

“No, I will not marry my friend’s ex, especially when I am aware that they once dated. I don’t think it is right because that is where our loyalty as friends lies.

“Doing that will likely destroy the trust and friendship we have. The truth is this, life is unpredictable.

“Nonetheless, one must be very careful of whom to marry. I personally cannot and will not do that.

“The moment a friend introduces his girlfriend and it is verified that they dated; she instantly becomes a no-go area.

“People need to understand the word ‘friend’ first, only then can the meaning be applied,’’ Idoko stressed.

Mr Mustapha Musa, a Medical Doctor said he would not do it because “it is all about trust’’.

“I cannot t marry my friend’s ex because such marriage will be filled with a lot of trust issues.

“That means every family gathering will be a time bomb that could go off if she gets too close to my friend.

“Things will get complicated later, especially if they still had feelings for each other.

“Moreover, I don’t think it is fair to be the cause of that kind of bad blood,’’ Musa said.

A Marriage Counselor, Mrs Chioma Eze, advised that all intending couple, irrespective of the condition that brought them together should seek the face of God before the marriage.

“That way, both parties will be rest assured that they are being guided by a higher force on whether to marry or not,’’ she said.